Validation: Do we really need it???

Each year, new reality tv shows come out, where their is a fierce competition to be labeled the "BEST". Whether its modeling, talent, business savvy, etc, we, the viewing audience, watch the initial offering, and form opinions as to who will be the chosen one. We immediately base our decisions on appearance and credentials, however, you can't judge by the outside alone. In many cases, we are wrong! The winner is the one who projects the most growth over a period of time, while the so-called "shoe-in" is left devastated and tossed off the show. Entering into these types of competitions, is usally to either make them feel superior to others, or to prove their self-worth.

Just as one would decide to enter into a competition, choosing to start your own business takes on the same form of consideration. Where do we make our first mistake? Asking others what do they think about what I am going to do? Have you ever wondered about living your life free of what others thought of you? How it would feel to take on a project, even when others you share your news with, don't share the same enthusiasm you are projecting? Why do we feel the need to share what we are doing in the FIRST place??? VALIDATION!!! We want OTHERS to validate what WE are doing...WHY?!?!?!

By definition, we are measuring pros and cons, should we or shouldn't we? It is typical to let others talk us out of what we want to do, for fear of not being accepted. How can I make something of myself, while still having the blessings of my peers?? My answer- FUCK 'EM!!

I know that is harsh, however, we must learn to make our own decisions and stand by them, no matter what. When you share with someone, criticism is expected. Sometimes I really don't mind hearing what you have to say, however, we also know hearing is passive, while listening is active. Why does this even matter?

Listening to someone means you are ACTUALLY interested in what they have to say, while hearing them means you are basically, just looking in their direction, your mind is wandering and you could really care less.

Don't let others fears, insecurities and negativity, determine YOUR desire and focus, to make your dreams a reality. At times, we allow others opinions to psych ourselves out of a great opportunity, great relationship or idea, to appease others opinions. Seek guidance instead, espacially from those who have traveled the same journey you are embarking upon. Seek guidance from those who want to mentor you. Mentor's have NO vested interest in your hopes or dreams, they are there to guide you.

As always, I encourage reading a new book, and if you are a spirtitual person, who believes things happen for a reason, I suggest reading either Paulo Coelho's, The Alchemist or Russell Simmons, Do You!. Both give great insight into the journey we face when we want to make our dreams come true.


The only person who determines your destiny is YOU!! And if you need a reminder, CLICK HERE to watch one of my favorite artists. The song tells us to "Hold Ya Head" and keep pushing forward. When all else fails, remain TRUE TO THE GAME and most importantly, YOURSELF!